Sucking Air! (trying to)

The tree pollen count kicked into the HIGH zone last weekend and I've been sucking air like a fish out of water. I count myself lucky that I don't have chronic asthma and my heart goes out to those that suffer daily. I do have exercise induced asthma (EIA) and I've learned how to manage it by tracking my heart rate and exercise intensity levels. Then there's the factors I can't control that often trigger attacks. Depending on the time of year, If my heart rate stays below 170, I'm OK. Bitter cold winter days, below 160 I'm OK. Yesterday I went for an easy run and when I hit 152, BAM! When an attack hits me it really does hit me. Like getting my chest wrapped in the coils of a giant anaconda, my usual natural breathing reflex switches to all out survival.

STOP!,

DEEP BREATH IN!

FORCE THE AIR IN!

SUCK IT IN! AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN,

DO NOT PASS OUT, IGNORE THE WHEEZING NOISE, JUST BREATH IN,

AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN!

God help me through this one.

Usually not an issue during swimming or on the bike but it's the run, my nemesis, when the Kodiak bear suckers me from behind and hugs me so hard my ribs feel like they'll crush under the pressure. Oh sure, I have an inhaler but I use it very sparingly and usually only on race days. This week I've coughed up enough mucus to fill a kiddy pool and my running speed has hit the basement. So, what to do? Hope for a nice 24 hour rain storm to come through and clear the air. I'm all about mother nature taking her own time and natural course when it comes to changing seasons but the timing right now for me is just wrong. I have some huge miles to log in the next 3 weeks before my taper and I just can't have this now.

Dear Mother Nature,

I love, love, love you so much. You have giving me life. You have given me the world. Your seas, land, and air are so beautiful that if you were in human form, you would grace me with such stunning grace, poise, and beauty, that I would cast my eyes down and kneel before you as the humble servant that I am. As you know, I have chosen a career that affords me many opportunities to protect you from harm and care for you and help you heal when you are assaulted and scarred by selfish acts from my fellow human beings. I have been educated many years and have trained many months to become strong and powerful. I am your jealous worrier that will not hesitate to draw my sword to protect you and your exquisite gift of this earth you have put me on.

Recently, I have been stricken by a foe that causes my breath to fail me when I need it most. My desire to fight and my determination to win have not wained. I will fight for you and protect you until my death comes many years from now. You are all powerful and can do with me as you see fit to my destiny. Please find it in your heart to grant me relief from my ailment so that I may continue to be the best that I can be for you and not grow weak from lack of breath. I need your pure air now more than ever. Please rain down on me.

Your worrier servant,

Benson

Fred Sanford, the hobbling cowboy

Oh may aching hips, quads, knees and feet. WTF! is happening to me?

That's how I felt Monday morning. I had such a hard training weekend that ended with a 60 minute run on Sunday eve. I got out of bed Monday morning and I was walking like Fred Sanford (40 somethings, are you with me here?). Last week was supposed to be a recovery week but I feel better today after 2 long swims, short run and a med. bike. I almost feel recovered today. Is that how a recovery week is supposed to affect me? With a 3 day delay?

I know running is my weakness, always has been, but I can't seem to get past the worry I have that I'm gonna crumble at mile 15 of the run. I've followed my Ironman training program nearly perfectly and I've only cut 2 runs short in the past 5 months. Good thing I still have 2 months to pull it together and sharpen things up. I'm keeping positive and I'm still excited for my first IM. I know that If I haven't burned out by now, the fire within is still burning strong and hot. It's very humbling and inspiring to read all the other Tri-geek blogs and see what others have overcome and endured to compete and finish IM races. Dehydration, broken pedals, flat tires, asthma, diabetes, ALS, cancer. WTF am I complaining about? I have not earned the right to complain. Oh sure, I have my little genetic and physical defects but I enjoy swimming 3,000 yd. workouts, biking several hours and running...well lets just say I can run a long time but it really challenges my mental focus.

The sport of triathlon is manna to me and I think I'm privileged to still be in the middle of the pack at the finish line. Have I just talked myself out of my little personal pity party? Huh, I guess so. Must be the caffeine kick'n in. I'm gonna go ride.

It's 4/20...65 days to go.

Exotic maple or just a weed?

For some folks, this might be a world holiday. For me, it's just another day counting down to my first ironman. This week has been a recovery week for me and today is my day OFF from training. How sweet it is.

I have to say that this past week has been an emotional roller coaster brought on by the horrible news from Virginia Tech. I remember the sick-to-my-stomach feeling on 9/11 and that same feeling last Monday. My sleep has been restless all week and my daily "life" has been a bit off center. I don't count my blessings because it would take me the rest of life to do so. I'm alive, healthy, and ...infinity.

No excuses.

That's not a car alarm

PWEEP, PWEEP, PWEEP! TEEW, TEEW, TEEW.

It's the dawn of a new day. It's FRIDAY THE 13TH. Is that a car alarm I'm hearing?

PWEEP, PWEEP, PWEEP! TEEW, TEEW, TEEW.

As I'm just waking up, I hit my clock alarm but it's not going off.

PWEEP, PWEEP, PWEEP, TEEW TEEW TEEW.

Damn, Is that the neighbor's car alarm going off?

I stumble upstairs to the kitchen to look out the window to see the dawn light in the eastern sky,

PWEEP, PWEEP, PWEEP, TEEW, TEEW, TEEW!

I crank open the window and...PWEEP, PWEEP, PWEEP, TEEW, TEEW, TEEW!

The brightest red Cardinal is perched on the corner of the garage singing out to the whole neighborhood...THIS IS MY YARD, THIS IS MY YARD, LADIES C'MON OVER AND LET'S BUILD A NEST!



Friday the 13th be damned. This is gonna be a great day. The sun is coming up and the weekend forecast is awesome! I am OUTSIDE!

Oh my Bleeding Heart

Holy gas prices! It cost me almost 80 bucks to fill up my old pickup truck! It's a good thing I don't drive it much.
I started (barely) a little spring cleaning and I found a t-shirt from college with a screening of a Polar Bear on the front and a mountain range on the back with this written underneath it;

If future generations are to remember us more with gratitude than with sorrow, we must achieve more than just the miracles of technology. We must also leave them a glimpse of the world as it was created, not just as it looked when we got through with it. - Lyndon Johnson.




I also had some time to channel surf and stopped on the Nature channel with a documentary hosted by Matt Damon talking about the health of the oceans fisheries and their effects on those animals and people that depend on them. The closing message was "the oceans are not quite dying yet but they are very sick."

And then there is this billboard I've seen lately about global warming that has 2 check boxes. [] Fight global warming. [] Do absolutely nothing. Wow, talk about an ultimatum. I must admit that I did pause to think about it and It made me feel compelled to make a choice. Am I against it or not? Seems like a simple choice. Right?

Who has time for this? I'm working about 50 hours a week. I train 15-20 hours a week. I try and sleep 56 hours a week. And then there's commuting time, meal times, chores, etc. I have precious few minutes left to deal with global issues. Give me a break. I gotta keep working just for gas money.

I admit I can be a bleeding heart about things that are important to me. And this may sound a bit political but this is how I feel right now; I can either be a member of a heroic generation that began to fix, preserve, and save the earth or I can be vilified for knowing what I should have done but just didn't do it.
And so here is the moment I feel faced with a choice. Dang this is hard.
Looking back at some of the life changing choices I've made; After high school, I went to college instead of bike touring the US.
After college, I worked for a year being paid only a stipend but I lived in the middle of a research reserve with dolphins, deer and panthers as regular backyard visitors... priceless.
I was accepted to a police academy for special agent training but I chose to be a biologist instead. Minor physical disabilities and genetics kept me from being an elite athlete but I chose not to quit and keep competing as a really good (or so I keep telling myself) middle-of-the-packer.
I can't save the world...by myself, but I do choose to do what my abilities will allow me to and hopefully be a hero to someone, anyone, sometime, I hope. Even if it's only to my gullible nephews who think I'm the greatest uncle in the world. Don't we all secretly want to be a hero? I sure would love to have a super power so I could save the oceans, save the earth, save outer space, save me from myself.
Wait a minute! I don't need no stinking super power! I'm a reasonably healthy adult with bikes to ride, organic food to eat, volunteering, lights to turn off, less driving to do, more ride sharing, less babbling on and on. I can do all kinds of things that will help the planet heal. Or I can pay a "guilty fee" to some organization as atonement.
But, I need my spare change for race entry fees. Or...I can do absolutely nothing. I think my answer is obvious but not only the words that make up my answer, I will do ACTIONS. Having dialog isn't DOING anything. I gotta get off my #$$ and fix that dripping faucet.

I should just GET OVER IT!

I've been a little frustrated with my swimming over the past month. I felt fairly strong and had reasonable endurance but my speed has leveled out or got slower based on my time trials. My coach said it's normal to have a bad week. I've had a bad month so we're changing a couple elements in my swim program. I'll try it for the next 4 weeks and see what happens.

Well guess what? Just this morning, I think I had a little breakthrough. I arrived at the pool just in time to jump in an open lane and noticed a familiar stroker in the lane next to me. After my warm up, BH hit the wall and looked over at me and gave me a nice morning greeting. That was all I needed. A friendly and familiar face to lift my spirits. It was a great distraction from my usual intense focus on myself and being over critical of my technique and stroke count. I felt a little more fluid and smoother and my 100 times were just a wee bit better than 2 weeks ago. It was good to have BH next to me and have a couple short chit-chat sessions when we happened to meet at the wall at the same time for a one minute breather. Thanks BH, now I'm kinda looking forward to my next swim and carry this tiny bit of momentum through.

Sure, triathlon is an individual sport but it's the great friends in the sport that make me a better person...and a maybe little bit faster.