Do bad things happen in threes?

Sometimes.

In the past 3 days, I was attacked 3 times.

Friday eve I went for a nice easy out and back run to the lake with my dog. It was a bit hot and muggy so I thought a trot to the lake for a swim would be just what my dog and I needed. We run this route often so the landmarks are all familiar. About 1 mile into it, we pass a really nice house with half of the yard fenced to contain 2 very spirited Springer spaniels. When we approach, they run along their fence with us to the end of their yard. Did I say spirited? More like spastic. They usually do 2 or 3 back-and-forth runs along their fence as we go by. Very happy dogs.
I should mention here that my tolerance for people who can’t control their dogs varies with the situation. I spent many hours training my dog and she’s very mindful of my commands. She is very good at running at heel on either side of me if I tell her too. This run was no exception. She was running at heel. Oh, let’s just name my dog P for this story.
Upon our return trip from the lake as we pass the fenced yard, I heard one of the dogs barking from somewhere unseen in the wooded yard. I assumed they were in the back porch area or in the house. As we got to the end of fenced area, one of the spastic Springers bolts from out of nowhere and barrels into P and clips me, and P who is at heel, at the shin. A short scuffle ensues and P assumes the crouch-and-cover position. The Springer bares its teeth and turns into a rabid Cujo intent on taking a piece out of me or P, it was hard to tell which.

I immediately placed myself between P and Spaz and commanded NO! several times in my best James Earl Jones authoritative voice. It worked and Spaz backed off a bit as I kept the face-off position and backed Spaz into his yard. So much for what I thought was a happy dog. Spaz retreated to the front door of the house so I leashed PS to the mailbox at the end of the driveway and walked up to the house. I rang the bell and the owner came out. I explained what happened and he was very apologetic. He had no idea one of his dogs had escaped the compound. I retrieved P and we made it home without further incident.

7AM Saturday morning, I hop on my Mountain bike for a quick and easy coast through the neighborhood. P loves this cuz she knows we’re going to the short woods trail where she can chase squirrels up trees. P has also been trained to run along side me at ‘bike right’ (heel on the right side) while we’re on pavement. We made it through our usual trail section, one squirrel treed, and back out to the road on our way to a small neighborhood park for a water stop. We pass the usual Bulldog behind the screen door and then the chained up Black Lab and his buddy the Rottweiler behind the ‘invisible fence’. Just as we approach the crest of the hill before the downhill to the park, the usual Shepard mix that’s behind the fence…was not behind the fence. Shep was out in the driveway under no restraint. Shep hits the turbo boost and comes strait for us. P sees what’s about to happen so she takes off at a run and is pulling away from Shep. Again I go into my James Earl Jones character. It had no effect on Shep. P pulls a U-turn and comes back to me for cover. Just as I dismount my bike, both dogs are entering the yard and about to engage. I’m screaming NO! NO! NO! Again, P assumes the crouch as she nears me and at that same instant, Shep gets a hold of P's front right paw for just a second. I’m at a full sprint towards the 2 dogs. Shep sees me coming and lets go and begins a hasty retreat to the fence gate in the yard. I hurdle over my dog and continue pursuing Shep to the fence. Shep sees the fence gate is closed and does a 90 degree turn to head for the front door of the house. I continue the pursuit. I’ve been yelling ‘no’ with every exhale throughout this whole ordeal. Shep nears the front door just as the owner appears and Shep bolts into the house. I’m so fired up at this point I start screaming at the owner “If you can’t control your dog, I’m calling the Police!” At that moment, the owner was so scared she went into the house and closed the door. I look around for P. She’s sitting next to my bike looking at me like I’m an escaped mental patient. I was furious. I slowly walked back to my bike and we were on our way. When we stopped for water, I noticed a spot of blood on her paw. A very small scrape was all it was. A drink of water, for both of us, and we headed home.

8AM Sunday morning, P and I jump into the car and head for Purgatory Park. The park is named after the creek that runs through it, not the place between heaven and hell. It was a great morning for a trail run with lots of hills. A few steps from the car and we’re on a single track where dogs are allowed off leash so I turn P loose and she’s immediately on scent and marking the trail ahead of me. After about 35 minutes, we got through our first section of hills and we’re back out onto the main gravel trail when I had the sensation that I needed to evacuate my bowels. I had already done that at home so this was a surprise and we were a few miles from the restrooms. I held it until we got off the main trail and back onto a single track into the woods. A couple hundred feet into the woods was a more secluded spot that suited me. No biggie, I’ve doodied in the woods before and there were lots of bushes for cover and leaves for wiping with. I asked P to sit on the trail and wait for me. I gathered a handful of large leaf aster leaves and stepped off the trail to scrape myself a small depression to leave a deposit. I made about 3 swipes with my foot when I felt, and saw, a hornet sting my ankle.

I went into retreat and swatting mode with arms flailing, I stepped out onto the trail where P was waiting and looking at me like an escaped mental patient. I yelled LET’S GO! OUCH, OUCH! P takes off ahead of me as I sprint along behind while using her leash as a whip across my back to shoo off the hornets. After a few hundred feet and 3 stings later, I stopped to compose myself and asses my damages. P is again looking at me like… I still had the aster leaves in my hand and was relieved to know I didn’t soil my shorts during my 300 yard dash. I found a safer spot with no hornets to leave a deposit and I was able to finish my trail run just fine.

So here’s the tri-fecta. 3 days, 3 attacks (2 dogs, 1 hornet nest), 3 stings.

Place your bets, place your bets, the next adventure begins this coming Sunday at the Chisago Lakes half iron race. The temperture will be in the 90's with an even higher heat index.