SLOW is the new FAST...race report

I thought my ironman fitness would carry over to the half ironman I did yesterday but Nooooooooooooo.

I went into this race feeling 100% and ready to have some fun at a local half ironman on a beautiful summer day made for racing.



Warning: This race report contains references to bowel movements.



Chisago Lakes Triathlon. Half Ironman.



My race day started off a little dicey. I woke up with a sour stomach and started my day on the toilet with a very mild case of the raspberries (aka diarrhea). Not the explosive kind or a complete draining of the intestinal tract butt more loose than usual. After my morning constitution, I chewed down a couple tums and took my dog for a walk for her morning constitution. After eating my usual oatmeal with fruit breakfast, I was feeling much better and began to execute a hydration plan.

I slammed a small V8 juice, loaded my car, and headed out the driveway just as the dawn was breaking. It was beautiful.

During my drive to the race, I drank about 20 ounces of water and 10 ounces of Gatorade Rain berry flavor. yum. My stomach was back to normal and I was feeling pretty optimistic about the race. I took a Thermolyte tablet cuz the forecast for the day was 90 and humid.

I was a little late setting up in transition so I didn't have time to warm up but I let that go and walked down to the swim start. I ducked into a little blue office (aka port-a-potty) and sat down for one more very very small poop and peed. All was seeming right with my GI tract and hydration.



I started the swim slowly to use as my warm up and things went really well. 32:35.7.

It was a long uphill trot into T1 and I was feeling fine. T1, 3:52. I took my time to drink more gatorade before leaving transition.



The bike was really good and I purposely kept my pace slower than usual to make sure my heart rate stayed low so I could stay hydrated and achieve maximum absorption. I took about 8 Thermotabs during the bike and drank about 100 ounces of liquids (energy drink, gatorade, water) and several packets of gu. It was hot, no wind and all went well. 2:48.06. I didn't rush T2, 1:12.



I started off running really smoothly. That was weird. My legs usually feel heavy for at least the first 10 minutes. Well, the fun was over at about mile 3 when my quads and hams began to cramp up like they did during my ironman. DAMN IT! Why is this happening? I'm all hydrated, electrolytes are balanced and I'm not over heated...yet. I jogged as much as I could between aid stations but the blazing heat and temperature of the pavement began to kill my run. I felt like I was running on the surface of the sun and I swear I saw the Devil in the heat waves that rose from the pavement. 'Welcome to Hell, you just try and run, you're in my house now and the rent is due.'

The last 3 miles felt like a death march. Dizzy, nausea, sweating like Ned Beatty in Deliverance, and my legs were cramping at regular intervals to keep me wincing and awake. I was sunk.

I managed to jog through the finish chute. 2:28.41.
Finish time, 5:54.26. My worst half ironman ever.



Lessons learned:

Diarrhea the morning of a race is a sign of bad things to come.

When you see the Devil out there, it's also a bad sign.

Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.

Still learning something new everyday. Even if the lesson is a very painful one.



Today: sore legs and sunburned nose. Otherwise, all is well.

Do bad things happen in threes?

Sometimes.

In the past 3 days, I was attacked 3 times.

Friday eve I went for a nice easy out and back run to the lake with my dog. It was a bit hot and muggy so I thought a trot to the lake for a swim would be just what my dog and I needed. We run this route often so the landmarks are all familiar. About 1 mile into it, we pass a really nice house with half of the yard fenced to contain 2 very spirited Springer spaniels. When we approach, they run along their fence with us to the end of their yard. Did I say spirited? More like spastic. They usually do 2 or 3 back-and-forth runs along their fence as we go by. Very happy dogs.
I should mention here that my tolerance for people who can’t control their dogs varies with the situation. I spent many hours training my dog and she’s very mindful of my commands. She is very good at running at heel on either side of me if I tell her too. This run was no exception. She was running at heel. Oh, let’s just name my dog P for this story.
Upon our return trip from the lake as we pass the fenced yard, I heard one of the dogs barking from somewhere unseen in the wooded yard. I assumed they were in the back porch area or in the house. As we got to the end of fenced area, one of the spastic Springers bolts from out of nowhere and barrels into P and clips me, and P who is at heel, at the shin. A short scuffle ensues and P assumes the crouch-and-cover position. The Springer bares its teeth and turns into a rabid Cujo intent on taking a piece out of me or P, it was hard to tell which.

I immediately placed myself between P and Spaz and commanded NO! several times in my best James Earl Jones authoritative voice. It worked and Spaz backed off a bit as I kept the face-off position and backed Spaz into his yard. So much for what I thought was a happy dog. Spaz retreated to the front door of the house so I leashed PS to the mailbox at the end of the driveway and walked up to the house. I rang the bell and the owner came out. I explained what happened and he was very apologetic. He had no idea one of his dogs had escaped the compound. I retrieved P and we made it home without further incident.

7AM Saturday morning, I hop on my Mountain bike for a quick and easy coast through the neighborhood. P loves this cuz she knows we’re going to the short woods trail where she can chase squirrels up trees. P has also been trained to run along side me at ‘bike right’ (heel on the right side) while we’re on pavement. We made it through our usual trail section, one squirrel treed, and back out to the road on our way to a small neighborhood park for a water stop. We pass the usual Bulldog behind the screen door and then the chained up Black Lab and his buddy the Rottweiler behind the ‘invisible fence’. Just as we approach the crest of the hill before the downhill to the park, the usual Shepard mix that’s behind the fence…was not behind the fence. Shep was out in the driveway under no restraint. Shep hits the turbo boost and comes strait for us. P sees what’s about to happen so she takes off at a run and is pulling away from Shep. Again I go into my James Earl Jones character. It had no effect on Shep. P pulls a U-turn and comes back to me for cover. Just as I dismount my bike, both dogs are entering the yard and about to engage. I’m screaming NO! NO! NO! Again, P assumes the crouch as she nears me and at that same instant, Shep gets a hold of P's front right paw for just a second. I’m at a full sprint towards the 2 dogs. Shep sees me coming and lets go and begins a hasty retreat to the fence gate in the yard. I hurdle over my dog and continue pursuing Shep to the fence. Shep sees the fence gate is closed and does a 90 degree turn to head for the front door of the house. I continue the pursuit. I’ve been yelling ‘no’ with every exhale throughout this whole ordeal. Shep nears the front door just as the owner appears and Shep bolts into the house. I’m so fired up at this point I start screaming at the owner “If you can’t control your dog, I’m calling the Police!” At that moment, the owner was so scared she went into the house and closed the door. I look around for P. She’s sitting next to my bike looking at me like I’m an escaped mental patient. I was furious. I slowly walked back to my bike and we were on our way. When we stopped for water, I noticed a spot of blood on her paw. A very small scrape was all it was. A drink of water, for both of us, and we headed home.

8AM Sunday morning, P and I jump into the car and head for Purgatory Park. The park is named after the creek that runs through it, not the place between heaven and hell. It was a great morning for a trail run with lots of hills. A few steps from the car and we’re on a single track where dogs are allowed off leash so I turn P loose and she’s immediately on scent and marking the trail ahead of me. After about 35 minutes, we got through our first section of hills and we’re back out onto the main gravel trail when I had the sensation that I needed to evacuate my bowels. I had already done that at home so this was a surprise and we were a few miles from the restrooms. I held it until we got off the main trail and back onto a single track into the woods. A couple hundred feet into the woods was a more secluded spot that suited me. No biggie, I’ve doodied in the woods before and there were lots of bushes for cover and leaves for wiping with. I asked P to sit on the trail and wait for me. I gathered a handful of large leaf aster leaves and stepped off the trail to scrape myself a small depression to leave a deposit. I made about 3 swipes with my foot when I felt, and saw, a hornet sting my ankle.

I went into retreat and swatting mode with arms flailing, I stepped out onto the trail where P was waiting and looking at me like an escaped mental patient. I yelled LET’S GO! OUCH, OUCH! P takes off ahead of me as I sprint along behind while using her leash as a whip across my back to shoo off the hornets. After a few hundred feet and 3 stings later, I stopped to compose myself and asses my damages. P is again looking at me like… I still had the aster leaves in my hand and was relieved to know I didn’t soil my shorts during my 300 yard dash. I found a safer spot with no hornets to leave a deposit and I was able to finish my trail run just fine.

So here’s the tri-fecta. 3 days, 3 attacks (2 dogs, 1 hornet nest), 3 stings.

Place your bets, place your bets, the next adventure begins this coming Sunday at the Chisago Lakes half iron race. The temperture will be in the 90's with an even higher heat index.

Yeah, more about Zurich and the Ironman

Warning. This is my longest post ever. If you're sick of the race stuff, skip down to my personal thoughts and epiphanies.





Zurich is a very nice venue for Ironman Switzerland and I highly recommend it for a destination race. Zurich is a beautiful city, a little crowded for my taste, clean, friendly, good restaurants and hotels. The public transportation is exceptional and very timely. It’s also an expensive city. I’d guess everything is about 20 to 30 percent more costly than in the US so be aware of your budget if you go there.
The race venue is quite good and the volunteer staff was stellar. All of the race sponsored events and at the expo area had many very helpful volunteers around and most of them spoke enough English to help me feel informed and comfortable. Lake Zurich was about 73 F and is quite clean with good visibility. The swim course is well marked and the on-water support was excellent and ever present.
The transition area is self supported like a short course race with only your assigned transition spot. My transition spot had plenty of room for all my equipment and extra stuff. The bike racks are also set up and grouped according to nationality so all the American athletes were in 2 or 3 adjacent rows and our race numbers also started with the same 2 digits. Leave it to the Swiss to be so damn organized.
I really liked the bike course. It had good terrain variety, nice pavement, and volunteer support everywhere. My opinion of the bike course marshals is that they really liked American athletes and gave them extra attention. The only athletes I witnessed getting stand down penalties or getting assigned penalties were Americans. Are Americans bad at following the rules? Do we cheat? It might take me awhile to figure that out but I have to say here that I witnessed several groups of 15 to 20 European cyclists riding in peletons and drafting as if they were doing a team time trial. I heard later that these guys often say “if you’re not cheating you’re not trying.” That kinda chaps me. How do I know they were European? By their race numbers (see above paragraph).
Case in point: One of my American racing buddies was riding solo when a group of over 20 riders caught up to him and merged in so he got positioned in the middle of the pack. Seconds later, a motorcycled course marshal pulled up, flashed his yellow card at him, not at any of the other riders, and wrote down his race number. When he started the run, the officials pulled him into the penalty box for a 6 minute drafting penalty. What happened to the other 20 riders? They had a really good bike split. Shame on them. Ironmen my ass. Drafting is cheating.

The run course is 99 percent flat with very good aid stations and wonderful volunteers. Those volunteers always called my name and the variety of food and drink items was just right. Keeping track of oneself on the 4 lap run course was helped by the wrist-band station near the half way of each lap. As I passed through, I was given a specific colored wristband for that lap and it was kind of motivating to get that 4th and last band knowing I only had about 3 miles to the finish.
At the finish area I got my medal and a kiss from a cute volunteer and was then escorted to “The Athletes Garden” where I had my choice of lots of yummy food, liquids, showers, hot tubs (tepid), finish photo area, splits printout and finisher t-shirt.



Personal lessons learned and epiphanies.

Epiphany: (1): a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2): an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3): an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure b: a revealing scene or moment.
That’s about right.

1. Having a little prayer before an Ironman is essential. Say it to whomever or whatever you want but say something that takes your mind to a different place for just a moment. My dad was a high school and college athlete and an adventure seeker all the while I knew him. He suffered many broken bones in his lifetime, 4 knee surgeries and eventually a knee replacement, spinal fusion surgery, a broken neck from body surfing in Hawaii put him in a halo brace for 10 weeks. It’s an odd twist of fate that none of those things stopped him but it was cancer that did. Yeah, that sucks. He loved hearing about my races and wanted to know all the gory details. When I was 3 years old, we were traveling Europe and Zurich was one of our stops. I carried a small capsule of my dad’s ashes throughout the race and then scattered them in Lake Zurich after I finished. He’ll be there with you too if you ever do Ironman Zurich.

2. I’ll have to try and not swallow any lake water if possible. I think that’s what turned my stomach and prevented me from following a good nutrition and hydration plan and I suffered greatly on the run.

3. Losing 11 pounds during my race was a bad thing. I weighed myself before the race; 154 pounds. After the race (and after eating and drinking); 143 pounds. That puts me losing about 8% of my body weight. Mostly fluids. Borderline extremely dangerous health risk. I will never let this happen again.

4. Cowbells and HOPP! HOPP! HOPP! are a good thing. Hearing my name being called out by spectators on the bike and run course was motivating and helped to get me through my dark moments.

5. No matter how bad I feel, someone else is feeling worse. I had sympathy for them and even pitied myself but I didn’t stop moving forward. I could always find a way to take one more step and get closer to the finish line.

6. I took training advice from the veterans in the sport and was willing to do what they suggested and did what I thought I was incapable of doing and overcame what I thought impossible. Having a good coach is paramount.
“Never give up” – Chris Legh. “Impossible is nothing, believe” – Carrie Tollefson.

7. The first time I completed a triathlon and crossed the finish line, I was no longer a cross trainer, I became a triathlete. The second I crossed the finish line at Zurich, I was no longer just a triathlete, I became an Ironman. I felt like no other time in my life mattered but that one moment, that one split second freeze-frame, one exhaled breath, one step, one blink, one heartbeat. It really did feel like a slow motion movie scene. My world stopped moving and I went deaf when I entered the finish chute and now I only have a blurry vision of hitting the finish line and being caught in the arms of my coach. That glorious moment passed quickly but the memory of that achievement will last my lifetime. All my fellow athletes have told me to “enjoy the feeling as long as you can”, “bask in the glory of your achievement”, “ride the high”. I think I’ve done just fine with that because now I’m already thinking of which Ironman to do next. I feel like I have unfinished business now and gotta do something about it. WTF is wrong with me? Stop the insanity!

I am smitten.
I’d definitely do Ironman Switzerland again…someday. But I think I’ll do Ironman Brazil, Austria, Germany, Australia, and New Zealand first.
Care to join me?

A few extra days on Switzerland

Is not enough time. Switzerland is beautiful.


My Switzerland vacation was too short.
2 days after Ironman Zurich, I took the train to the Berner Oberland region of Interlaken


and and then up into the alps to Grindelwald.



Stayed in a nice hotel and my room’s balcony faced the Eiger.


The hotel was equipped with a fantastic day spa and a wonderfully skilled massage therapist named Kristine. Went whitewater rafting and canyonning.



Took a marvelous hike north of Grindelwald on a day when I just couldn’t take a bad picture.



I then went by train to Murren and hiked down to Gimmelwald where I stayed at the Mountain Hostel. Very nice and very beautiful hostess, outdoor wood-fired hot tub, beer and great pizza.



Took a long hike up to the Sprutz water fall and crossed paths with a farmer cutting his hay with a scythe and met a few local cows on the trail.

Traveled back to Interlaken and arrived just in time to see some of the Nissan Outdoor Games. Kayaking, mountain bike jumping, paragliding, and sky diving.

Then went to Luzern and arrived in time for the summer town festival and farmers market. Good fresh food, live music, and beer.


Back to Zurich for a day at the lake, a massage, good food, and beer.

My new girlfriend is royalty

I just can't hold this in any longer. I have a new girl friend!
I just spent the weekend with her and we had some great workouts. We did a ride and transition run. Then we had a long lunch break and did some open water swim drills. On Sunday we did a track workout.
She kicked my ass!
Oh, OK, The truth must me told. My new friend is 8 time world champion, the "Queen of Kona", Paula Newby-Fraser. Oh yeah, she is happily married but a guy has to dream a little.

Me and the "Queen" modeling swim suites.

Miss Newby-Fraser is modeling a smart two-piece number that is reversible to a floral pattern. Benson is sporting a men's platinum bikini from EQ swimwear (http://www.eqswimwear.com/).

Oh the things I do for gossip fodder.

Paula Newby-Fraser and her husband, Paul Huddle, own and coach with http://www.multisports.com/. I had the good fortune to attend a weekend training camp with them.

IMZ Race Report

Ironman Zurich Race Report

7AM start time.

A 2 lap swim with over 1,800 other athletes. I was standing third row back when the gun went off. A running start into the water was not safe as their were rocks and cobble of various sizes as soon as we left the sandy beach. A careful wade to thigh deep worked well and I was off. It was a very physical start. Like spawning salmon and a water polo match mixed together.

The sun was directly in my eyes so I took time before the start to line up the first distant corner buoy with a notch in the tree line on the distant hills. It worked. Many of the swimmers began fading off to the left as a large group of us stayed on course. It was damn crowded for the first mile and turning at the first 2 corner buoys involved a lot of physical contact. The field finally spread out and at the last corner buoy, I made a good sighting on the exit area as a group of swimmers in front of me began to split left and right as if to let me go through. I didn’t take the time to thank them as they began to fade a bit off course. I was on my own between 2 small groups of swimmers and was happy to be free of others swinging arms and kicking feet. I managed to pull slightly ahead of the wayward swimmers and noticed them beginning to close back together behind me (bi-lateral breathing gave me this advantageous view) as we neared the exit ramps. I stayed just far enough ahead of them to have the exit ramp all to myself as I scrambled into T1. Swim: 1:04.24.

T1 involved a quick strip and change into my bike kit. No changing tents and this event allowed nakedness in transition so I did as the Europeans do and mooned the spectators as I bent over to pull up my bike shorts.

The 3 lap bike course was fantastic. The first 20K was mostly flat or a slight downhill grade. I took my first drink early in the first 10K and immediately felt a slight pain in my stomach. WTF? That’s never happened before. Oh well, stick to the plan unless forced to change.

The first hill climb, The Beast, was 5K long with beautiful views of Lake Zurich and the country side. I heard cowbells further up the hill and that made me happy. As I neared the clanging, there were 2 cows grazing in a roadside pasture and each time they shook their heads to shoo flies away, the bells around their necks would clang beautifully. Note to self: cows clanging cowbells is way cool.
At the top of this long hill were a large crowd and 2 live bands. AWESOME! Then it was down a long grade and a well deserved recovery time. I took my next drinks and my stomach pain increased. DAMN IT! Another long uphill was next. Not difficult, just long. At the top of this long grade was one of the big aid stations with tons of spectators and more music.

Then came a long winding section of slightly rolling hills and country side and was a welcome time to evaluate what was going on in my gut. I’ve been taking my salt tablets as usual so that can’t be it. Maybe I’m hungry, I’ll try eating my PBJ…ouch, and my gut began to knot up. OK, back off my pace and settle down for a bit
Then came a screaming downhill section that I just loved. This section was ruled as “NO TRIATHLON STEARAGE” and a hand drawn sign at the top of this section showed a biker in aero position with a slash through it. If anyone was caught on their aero bars, it was a 6 minute penalty. I was coasting at 43 MPH and getting passed by a few Europeans who must have been going 50 plus.
Back down on the flats along Lake Zurich gave me more time to rethink my eating and drinking plan. I decided eating solids was too painful so I changed to gels and energy drink instead. That helped but my stomach still had a stitch in it. Oh well, I felt good otherwise so I cruised on past the crowds of people and neared Heartbreak Hill.

This is the coolest part of the bike course. It’s a very steep 1K climb and lined with people waving flags, playing music, clanging cowbells, yelling HOPP HOPP HOPP!, and cheering loudly. The road is narrow so the crowd is squeezed in and I felt as if I was in the Tour de France. It was fantastic!

Then another screaming downhill and along the lake past transition and the beginning of my second lap with my gut still annoying me. Passed the same 2 cows clanging their bells for me. I pulled off at the big aid station to grab my personal needs bag to switch out some food items. I had a small packed of a liquid vitamin concoction with lots of B12. I downed that. I 86'd my PBJs in the bag and took out a cliff bar, more gels and went on my way. I pulled off for a nature break and noticed very little volume and very dark colored. DEHYDRATION! I wasn’t getting enough liquids or I was sweating out more than what was going in. The vitamin shot helped my stomach a bunch and I was able to get more fluids down me during the second lap but it wasn’t enough. I felt some minor cramps in my legs after my third climb up Heartbreak Hill. Not a good sign but I finished the bike clean with no incidents. Bike: 6:19.59.

T2 was another complete change of clothing so I mooned the crowd once again as I changed into running shorts.

The 4 lap run course was next. Trotting out of T2 was a little sluggish but my legs seemed relieved to be off the bike. I made it about 2 miles when the first of many major cramps seized my legs and forced me to hobble peg-leg fashion for quite awhile before trotting again. This is bad, very bad. I may end up walking this whole effing marathon if this keeps up. Damn it! What do I do now? I can’t eat cuz my stomach is back in a knot. If I can just jog between aid stations and then walk while I drink something. That might work.
I hobbled to the next aid station and drank some chicken broth. That was yummy and salty and seemed to relieve my stomach knot a bit. I did the same thing at almost every aid station but my legs would not come around and the painful cramps were coming and going like seizers and labor pains. I walked the second and third laps of the run.

That’s right, I walked over half of the marathon. Just into my last lap of the run, I started drinking some of the Coke at the aid stations and began to feel the effects quickly. I’m not a caffeine drinker and sugar sodas are not part of my diet either but man did that Coke taste good. By this time I had caught up a bit on my hydration and salts and I was able to jog most of the last lap and through the finish chute. Run: 5:57.58. Not a pretty sight but I finished in 13:33.30.

Composure

From the deepest part of my heart I thank you all so much for your comments and emails and for taking the time to track me during the race. I felt your vibes right down to my bones and crossing the finish line was for you, a little bit for me but mostly for my dad. Cancer took his body 2 years ago but his spirit and energy is always with me and he finished Ironman Zurich with me.

Huge hugs and tons of affection to you all for being there in your own way.

I traveled a few days in south and central Switzerland and I just returned to the USA last night and my body clock is still on Zurich time. I'm composing a post that will include deep thoughts, a race report, photos, and general Switzerland stuff. Give me a couple days and check back.

Again, thank you.

Truly, thank you.