Cold as H E double-hockey-sticks(LL)

I'm gonna whine about the cold weather and then get on with my business.

The high temperature for this Saturday is going to be minus 5 F. That's not a high. It's not even above the non-temperature of ZERO. Minus 5 isn't even a number. Is it?

And then there's this.

I got home last night and the downstairs bathroom sink was backed up. Why?

Quick background here. My house is 58 years old. I had the downstairs (basement) remodeled so there is some new plumbing and some 58 year old plumbing. OK, 'nuff said.

I first thought that a section of pipe must be frozen from the cold weather.

But since all my plumbing is deep below grade, it shouldn't be frozen. All the other drains in the basement were running freely.

First I attempt the easiest solution of plunging with a plunger...no effect.

I take apart the u-shape p-trap under the sink and get all wet with the yucky water I just created by plunging and sucking up gook from deep within the bowels of the old plumbing.

I run my little 15 foot roto-rooter wire snake down the pipe. Retrieve it, and there is no obstruction.

Re-assemble the p-trap and run some water.

Water backs up again.

I try plunging again with the same results. Gunky water and slimy pieces of gook.

Still not draining.

Take apart p-trap again.

Catch gunky water in pale this time. Nice.

I hate doing this but...I pour in some industrial strength drain cleaner from the 1950's that was left by the previous home owner.

Let it sit for a few minutes.

Re-assemble the p-trap.

Run some water and...

IT WORKED!

The drain was draining like a good drain should.

Problem solved but my curiosity was peaked so I read the label of said drain cleaner to see what this miracle fluid is all about.

There are 9 items of warning before the directions for usage.

Caustic

Do not get on skin, clothing, wood, vinyl etc.

Do not look in drain after adding solution as eruption may occur.

Immediately cover drain opening after adding solution to contain possible eruption.

Cover the drain with what!? A sand bag bunker?

Area must be well ventilated.

Immediately wash off if solution comes in contact with skin.

Flush drain with clean water for several minutes after clog is cleared.

...

And on it went.

Flash-backs of my organic chemistry class come rushing in and I go into def con 3.

I make sure the top is screwed back on tightly and begin to handle this miracle bottle of liquid like it's nitroglycerin. Really old nitroglycerin.

I delicately place the bottle in a zip-lock bag and then into a bucket and oh so carefully set it on the floor in the corner of the utility room and ensconce it with left over bricks and tiles from the remodel.

Slowly, I backed away as if I had just handled some unstable uranium isotope. Whew, I wipe my brow and bow down to the shrine of bricks, tiles, and miracle solution.

I run a bunch more water down the drain (the solution to pollution is dilution) so I don't end up re-enacting that scene in Christmas Vacation after Randy Quade empties his RV holding tank into the storm drain, "shitter's full..." and it begins to glow green. At the closing scene, things blow sky high.

I got 4 hours of sleep last night and checked the sink this morning. All is well.

I just hope I don't arrive home tonight and see my house glowing green.